Life around here lately, 3

Charlotte is 32 months old (almost three years!) and Asher is one. I'm almost 32 ;) 

We're on day 7 of cloudy/ rainy and cool weather. Fortunately, we've had a pocket of sun here and there, and it's not constantly raining, which is a big relief. I'm in a much better place physically and emotionally than I was one year ago at this time (with a brand new baby, in a house that wasn't our own!), and the icky weather isn't getting me down as much as I was afraid it might. We've managed to have some play dates and swing on the swings and visit the library. All those fun bits help us manage the rain fairly well. 

Both children are in really fun stages right now. 

Charlotte is constantly creating... painting, coloring, making dinner parties for her stuffed animals, using play dough to create cookies for a snack, setting up a restaurant in our new play house, and just making things in general. She's also making really significant conversations lately. She's asking about Bible stories we read, and questioning song lyrics that we sing. She's noticing tiny details in books, and asking a million questions a day. I love chatting with her, and teaching her things. Sometimes the listening is exhausting, and I struggle to really truly pay attention and engage. Working on that. 

Asher is constantly exploring... He crawls all over the house, checking everything out. He loves to take things out of the recycling bin and touch every object. He likes to crawl into the bathroom, and if the lid isn't closed, he tries to explore the contents of the toilet! Ick. Using a push toy, he can walk down the hallway or across the living room. He's always cruising from one chair to the next, or from the  couch to someone's nearby arm/leg. If there's a door open, Asher immediately bolts to get outside. He's had a lot of clothing changes lately, and I'm doing a lot of laundry since his pants get completely covered in mud the second he's outside! It's worth it, though, because he is unbelievably happy playing in the yard and crawling along the driveway. 

Asher is ONE / twelve months!

Happy first birthday to my sweet, fun, handsome boy! We love you and are so proud of you! 

Growth/ development: Asher weighs 24 pounds, is 31 inches tall (same as Charlotte at one!), and his head is 19 inches. He wears size four diapers and most of his clothing is 12-18 month range. His 12 months pants and onesies are wayyyyy too small, but we are temporarily squeezing him into 12 month PJs. :) He still only has five teeth-- we keep expecting the sixth one to appear, but it hasn't yet. 

Asher can cruise from one object to another and is constantly standing up to play. He crawls like a speeding bullet and can get wherever he wants to go, at any time. We borrowed a push toy from our friends and Asher can walk across the living room while pushing the toy. He gets so excited and his joy just breaks my heart! 

This month, Asher developed his waving and clapping skills. He also learned to give high fives-- so cute! He says, "Hiiiii," "Dada," and "Chock" (which sometimes means truck, and other times means who knows what?! :) )

Sleep/ schedule: Asher consistently sleeps through the night- usually from about 7pm to 6am!!! Sometimes he stirs and Joel goes in to talk and comfort him for a second, but that's very rare. He also wakes up before 6 at least once a week-- and sometimes wakes up closer to five... ugh! His naps are pretty consistent-- from about 7:45/8 until 9/10am. His second nap is usually from 1-2:30/3pm. 

Asher still drinks 5-6 bottles of breast milk each day. I've dropped down to three pumping sessions but that's still producing enough for his needs. His total breast milk intake has dropped, and he's definitely eating more solids than he did a few weeks ago. However, he really enjoys his bottles and seems to use the bottle drinking time to relax, particularly before naps and bedtime. I'm hoping to ease back from breas tmilk even more, by replacing a few ounces per day with whole cow's milk. I don't want to sub all his bottles with cow's milk, because I want him to be hungry for actual food. It's a bit of a dilemma for me. 

Asher likes: Being outside, playing near Charlotte, reading books, picking up/throwing dirt, taking things out of baskets/bowls, putting things back in (he JUST started this activity and it's adorable!), picking up small objects, playing wild games with his sister and dad, his monkey lovey, putting things in his mouth, and exploring machinery like the stroller, push toys, bike tire pump, and front controls in the van. 

Asher doesn't like: being overtired, waiting to eat, being away from Mom too long, and when Charlotte tells him "No" or pushes him away. 

Big things this month: It's been such fun watching Asher grow and learn. This month Asher had a visit from his maternal grandparents, tried some new foods, and enjoyed a LOT of time playing in the dirt. We love him so much, and thank God for the good gift of our sweet, toddler boy! 

Asher: eleven months

This big boy is almost one! I can't believe it! The past eleven months have gone so, so quickly.

Growth/ development: Asher is big! He is solid- heavy and tall, very compact. He has five teeth, and his  little grin is the cutest thing. He has a lot of hair- far more than Charlotte had at his age. It's starting to curl a bit in the back. 

Asher is a master crawler, and pulls to standing all day long. He loves to stand up and reach for something a tiny bit out of his grasp. 

Sometimes Asher will wave and say, "Hiiiiiiii," but lately this privilege is reserved for animals- stuffed, or living. :) 

Sleep/ schedule: Asher has been waking up EARLY this month. Ugh! We thought that once we night weaned, the sleep situation would get better, but it is still fairly difficult. Some nights Asher will sleep silently through until 5:45am (rarely later than that!), but many nights he stirs a few times throughout the night and settles when Joel comforts him, but then he is awake and mad at 5:00!! 

His naps are fairly consistent, though a couple of times recently he has cried until I finally rocked/ bounced him to sleep in my arms. He usually naps for 1.5-2 hours in the morning, and about 1.5 hours in the afternoon. His bedtime is roughly 7, but if he wakes up early or his naps are off, we will put him to bed closer to 6:30/6:45. I feel this poor guy has a reputation as a bad sleeper; I wouldn't necessarily say that, but he isn't as consistent of a sleeper as Charlotte was, so we can't help but compare. 

Asher is no longer nursing; he takes 6-7 bottles per day and I pump five times a day to keep up with his breastmilk consumption. I would really like to spread out his feedings so he takes just 4 bottles a day, but he definitely prefers to have milk frequently and I'm nervous that cutting back on feedings would affect his sleep. After Charlotte's first birthday I started dropping nursing sessions, so I may try to help Asher take at least one less bottle after he turns one. We'll see. 

Asher likes: Charlotte. She is his favorite person! It's so cute to watch him crawl around the house to find her! He also likes drinking milk, eating food, playing outside, climbing (on his family members, the furniture, and up any steps he can find!), electronics, cords, taking things out of baskets/boxes, BOOKS, and animals. 

Asher doesn't like: being stopped from exploring a place he wants to go, being given a toy that Charlotte deems an appropriate substitute for whatever he's trying to take from her at the moment, getting dressed/ diaper changes. 

Big things this month: Asher had his first baby sitter put him to bed. And his dad put him to bed for the first time. He had friends visit from Philadelphia, visited downtown Seattle, and went to a lot of playgrounds. :) 

On breastfeeding

As of today, I've been nursing one child or the other for over twenty four months. I can't begin to count how many hours I've spent nursing, but I just did a rough calculation of ounces of milk provided and it's something like 20,000 ounces between the two kids. Pretty mind blowing! 

Last month, for the first time ever, I seriously contemplated quitting. I shocked myself, and then shocked myself again by thinking over and over about how much I wanted to be done and how awful it was going. Asher's teeth had started making giant gashes whenever he had a meal, which was (and is) quite frequently throughout the day. 

I'm not sure how the next few months will go, but this hiccup in our breastfeeding journey has got me thinking and I'm using the space here to flesh out some thoughts, as well as to share some important things I've learned in the past couple years. It's World Breastfeeding Week, too, so I think the timing is right.

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You've heard of an Achilles heel, right? 

It seems breastfeeding had become mine. I can't believe how smoothly things went with feeding Charlotte, after the first couple weeks where she didn't gain weight quickly enough and I doubted my own supply for a while. When Asher was born he latched on instantly (seriously! He was a few minutes old and we were snuggling skin-to-skin when Joel said, "Kell, I think he's trying to nurse right now!"), and then he gained weight like a freaking sumo wrestler. It was like my body remembered nursing Charlotte for 14 months and just picked up where it left off, no questions asked, no holds barred. :) 

In all my motherhood doubts and fears and uncertainties, breastfeeding has been low on my list of worries. I've been so fortunate to have an easy time if it; my milk has been plentiful, both kids seemed to be comforted at the breast, and the quiet, snuggly moments became a nice part of raising my babes. 

But when Asher's teeth cut me and I was struggling with the constant pain, in addition to the strong desire to quit, it broke me. My spirit was crushed and I was so defeated and disappointed. I felt like a failure, and I felt mad at my baby, though of course it wasn't his fault at all. I cried A LOT, and spent a lot of time in prayer. Over a few days, my heart really softened. I asked for help, and spoke honestly about my doubts with others. 

I realized that my confidence in breastfeeding had become a bit of a pride issue, and was something that made me think I was in control. After being brought back down to earth, and having my eyes opened to my own desperate need, I could view the situation more clearly and I could humbly ask for help and admit my own frustrations. 

Over the past two weeks, I've cut back on Asher's nursing sessions so my skin can really heal. I've spent a lot of time pumping milk for him, and he's taking bottles like a champ. It's a bittersweet transition, and not without some very strong emotions (and a few tears!) on my part, but it's something that would have happened eventually anyway. Now is a good time to make that change, in order to protect my skin and allow for significant healing. I'm so grateful that our breastfeeding journey will continue for a while longer, and that we had a such a positive nine moths with no issues at all. 

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Though I'm not an expert on nursing, I do have a bit of personal experience. I'm going to share a few things I've learned below, and also give some resources that have been helpful in my journey to this point. Here goes. 

1. When in doubt, nurse! Nurse frequently in the early days after a baby is born. It's so (so!!) time consuming and uncomfortable and exhausting. Just do it. Baby is fussy? Nurse. It's been three hours since the last feeding started? Nurse. It's only been an hour and you can't believe baby is hungry again? Nurse. Your breasts are kind of full/ uncomfortable? Offer baby to nurse. Baby won't settle down to sleep? Nurse. This is my number one piece of advice and I'm VERY serious about it (obviously!). 

[I think in many cases, this advice applies to older babies as well; breastfeeding is a huge source of comfort and stress relief for babies of all ages. But it's especially important in the first few months of baby's life, when milk supply is being established and then maintained. And also, older babies can be fussy because they need to sleep so I believe teaching good sleep habits is important. That's another blog post all together ;) ]

2. Get help if you are struggling at all. Talk to a lactation consultant or a midwife (or your doctor, if he/ she is knowledgeable about breastfeeding). Call a friend who has breastfed a baby recently. Call me! Any time of the day or night! The website Kelly Mom is an amazing resource--- I have used the site many, many times, and it covers a huge range of difficulties you might face. This article is very helpful, too:  https://www.romper.com/p/12-things-you-dont-have-to-do-when-breastfeeding-even-though-everyone-says-you-do-14870

3. Use a nipple shield if your baby won't latch right away but be careful!! Nipple shield are not meant to be permanent solutions, and, in my understanding, can really affect supply long term because they don't always allow baby to empty the breast. Try many times a day to get baby to latch without a shield, and work hard to make baby's latch be perfect! Watch videos of how to get a good latch and ask for help. Don't be shy about this! I thought Asher's latch was okay, but I should have made sure it was perfect because nine months later it was killing me! 

4. Reserve judgement. This is very hard, but very important. Don't judge that momma giving her baby a bottle. Don't judge that momma who accidentally flashes the room while trying to get her babe to latch on quickly. Don't judge that momma using a nursing cover, or going into a dark, quiet room to feed her baby. Don't judge that dad giving his baby a bottle, or helping his wife nurse discreetly in a public place. Don't judge yourself for hating nursing, or loving it, or being in between about it. Don't judge yourself for decisions you have to make, or for difficulties that are beyond your control. Being a parent is hard! Feeding a baby is hard!  Let's not make the whole thing harder by criticizing each other for the decisions we make, or the circumstances in which we live. 

5. Talk about breastfeeding. With your friends. With your parents. With your husband. With your children (older kids and toddlers). I feel pretty strongly that most of the misconceptions and awkwardness surrounding breastfeeding won't be changed by women in coffee shops nursing without a cover simply to make a point that they can. (Which of course, they can.) But conversations about breastfeeding, exposure to the idea as well as to the difficulties with nursing, making efforts to normalize nursing... All of these things can go a long way toward moving past the stigma. Let's have some conversations, people. 

Asher: ten months old

Growth/ development: Two weeks ago, at 9.5 months, Asher weighed 22 pounds, 4 ounces and was 30.5 inches tall. His head was about 18.5 inches in circumference. He wears size four diapers and size 12-18 month clothing. Because he wears cloth diapers, he needs extra big clothing. :)

This month Asher has been taking bottles consistently, and seems totally happy to get pumped milk from the bottle, instead of only nursing. It's been a long six weeks of trying to heal my skin where his teeth cut, but hopefully things are on the mend. I would really love to get back to nursing regularly, but we will see. For now, I think we will try to keep nursing for the first feeding of the day, but during the day and at bedtime it just seems easier to do bottles. 

Asher is a crazy fast crawler! He figured it out on vacation in Colorado, and hasn't looked back. I love to hear his little hands clapping the hardwood floors as he maneuvers around the house. 

He's also mastered pulling himself up! He loves to stand in the bathtub, and next to the couch, and on the play kitchen. He can't always get himself back down easily, though, which presents a problem when he's standing sobbing in his crib:

Sleep/schedule: Drumroll, please.... Asher no longer nurses at night!!!! It only took nine months ;) but it's totally amazing. He doesn't even wake up most nights, but if he does cry, Joel goes in and talks quietly to him for a minute and comes back to bed. Night weaning/ sleep training this month was a lot easier than I expected, and I'm so relieved!

Asher is still going to bed around 7pm. He wakes up pretty early (usually around 6am), and he takes his first nap around 8am. His second nap is almost always around 1pm. Both his naps are consistently at least1.5 hours, but sometimes they are two full hours!!

Asher likes: crawling!!!, standing up, following Charlotte around the house, touching things, dumping out toys, WATER!!, snuggling/ hugging, chewing everything, "reading" books, and so many more things. He is a really happy, easygoing baby. 

Asher doesn't like; diaper changes, getting dressed, waiting for milk, and getting his sleep sack on. The moments before sleep time are his worst all day! It's kind of hilarious to me, because it's like: "dude, you've been getting zipped into your sleep sack multiple times a day for your whole life... Get used to it!" :) 

Parenting: this month has been a whirlwind!! I think the word change sums up Asher's tenth month of life. One week he started crawling, the next week he night weaned, and the next week he started dropping nursing sessions!! It feels like a lot to me, and I've been pretty emotional about how fast it's all gone. I also feel really, really sad to be giving up nursing him already. I love this baby so much and it breaks my heart to not get as much quiet time with him as I used to have. 

Asher is a totally delightful little boy; he lights up our world!! 

Charlotte: 2.5 years

What a wonderful 2.5 years it's been since Charlotte Adeline joined our family.

We are so proud of our smart, imaginative, independent, delightful girl. She brings us such joy!

Charlotte is tall and slender for a two and a half year old. She wears size 2T shirts & shorts and 3T pants. Her shoe size is 8. She wears size four diapers, the same as Asher! We had a quick attempt at potty training back in the spring, stopped after two days (ha!), and expect to try again in the next few weeks. She is very aware of her bodily functions, but is not at all interested in taking the time to sit on the toilet. We will see what the coming days hold :) 

Two things stand out when I think of Charlotte at this age. First, singing. Second, mothering. 

She loves when we sing to her, and has a TON of songs she knows and likes. Lately, if she has a quiet moment, she will start singing aloud herself. It's the absolute sweetest thing. I love her little voice, and I love that she's really picking up on both the tone and lyrics of songs we sing. Her favorites are Amazing Grace, Jesus Loves Me, and "Lord song" (... the song about the Lord telling Noah to build him an arky, arky ;) ) 

Charlotte also spends a lot of time mothering her stuffed animals. She feeds them food and gives them a bottle of milk, pushes them in her stroller, changes their diapers, carries them in her little ring sling, and puts them to bed. I love to watch the way she cares for them so tenderly, and how she imitates the things she sees us doing. We also catch her mothering Asher sometimes, saying, "It's okay, Asher, I right here with you," or, "Asher, do you need sometin'? I can help you." 

We regularly hear her whispering to her animals quietly, "oh, my girl." At first we thought she was expressing frustration and saying, "oh, my gosh," but then she was talking to Bear and said, "oh, My boy." So now I'm confident she's mimicking a phrase I say regularly to the kiddos. Adorable! 

A few months ago we had a lot of difficulties with Charlotte's sleep schedule. I was afraid she was needing to give up her nap (horrors!!) But we persevered, and waited it out, and tried our best to remain consistent. These days she naps for 1.5 hours each afternoon- usually from 1-2:30, but it's flexible based on what we are doing that day and/ or what time she woke up. She goes to bed around 8pm and sleeps for roughly 10 hours. She often plays quietly in her bed for 30-60 minutes, but she isn't getting out of bed or crying or screaming... Just hanging out alone :) 

Charlotte continues to be a pretty good eater, though she is definitely expressing her preferences more and more. She could eat fruit all day long, and is pretty good at eating vegetables, too. She doesn't eat much meat, but will almost always try new things once before deciding she doesn't want any more. Lunch is definitely her favorite meal! Dinner is usually okay, too, but breakfast is a challenge. Lately I've not been pushing breakfast, I just try to give her a big, healthy snack around 9:30 or 10am. Usually we're out and about at that time and for some reason snacks are more appealing at the park or in the car seat, or on a hike ;) Toddlers, man. Her absolute favorite food is macaroni and cheese, but she also likes French fries, donuts, ice cream, sweet peppers, cucumbers, cherries, and frozen blueberries. 

A typical toddler, Charlotte has strong opinions about what she wears and how she spends her time. She likes to be independent and gets SO frustrated if we try to do things for her that she has proven able to do herself. A funny example: 

Today at lunch she said, "I want some cherries. Dad, please pass 'em to me." 

Joel said, "I need to take the pit out, right?" Then he reached his hand into the bag of cherries to grab a couple for her.  

She yelled, "No, Dad!! I can do it! Please pass bag to me!!" :) I calmly told Joel that Charlotte knows how to remove the pit from her own cherries, and he passed the whole bag right over. :) :)

Being this lady's momma presents some challenges, and I lose my patience regularly. By bedtime I am exhausted and I start each day feeling the weighty responsibility of raising her well. But Charlotte is absolutely amazing, and I love her so much. 

Little worm, you are my best girl. You are fun and funny and kind and brave. Your smile lights up my world, and I cannot imagine life without you in it. Xoxo, Momma. 

Asher: nine months old

Growth/ development: Asher weighs 21 pounds, 2 ounces. We don't know his length. He wears size four diapers (same as Charlotte!) and his clothes are mostly 12-18 months. 

This was a big month for Asher's mobility. He can now army crawl all over the house!! Just this week he mastered going from sitting, to laying on his tummy, back to sitting again. One morning he wasn't falling asleep for his nap so I went in and found him sitting up proudly in his crib, after I had laid him down on his belly. So cute!!

We think Asher is starting to wave. He uses his right arm and waves it in the air happily, often upon greeting someone. 

Asher also "says" HIIIIIIII, and DADADADA and MAMAMAMAMA. ;)

Sleep/ schedule: this was the best month for sleep, I'd say. There were a few nights with significant interruptions, but the naps were just so, so good. Once our boy transitioned to two naps, he has been very consistent. Normally he naps from about 8:30-10 (earlier if he wakes up before 6am!!) and then again from 1-3pm. He goes to bed by 7:00, but once he got the two nap thing down he didn't need any more 6pm bedtimes- what a relief!! 

Asher likes: being mobile, playing outside, eating food at the table, chewing things, splashing in the baby pool (or sink! Or tub!), talking to people, following Charlotte around, taking things out of boxes or baskets, and so much more. 

Asher doesn't like: I can't think of much he doesn't like. Maybe being contained when he wants to move around...? I think that's about it. 

Parenting: being this boy's mom is the best thing ever. He is the sweetest, happiest, funniest babe in the world. I love him so much it hurts. 

One very difficult thing this month has been nursing him. Due to a poor latch, his bottom teeth have done quite a number on my skin, leading to some really deep, nasty cuts. I'm feeling ready to be done with nursing, because it's causing me such pain, but it's such a huge part of both of our days (and nights) that I can't imagine not breastfeeding him. He did start taking a bottle of pumped milk for me last week, so that could help the process a bit. It's frustrating and sad to me that things have taken such a bad turn recently because the first eight months of feeding Asher were so smooth and easy. 

Other than that, parenting Asher is an absolute gift. Happy nine months, baby boy. We love you so very much!