Asher: fifteen months

Asher's fifteen month birthday is also the start of a new year: 2017! What a big year this has been for our little guy. We can't imagine life without him. 

Growth/ development

After his fifteen month well check in January, I will add his height and weight. He wears the same size 5 shoes that he's been wearing, 18 month clothing (And sometimes 24 month clothing, especially if he has a cloth diaper on!), and has seven teeth. He's been drooling hardcore for the last month. It makes me wonder if he's working on molars, but none have appeared yet. 

He went from a few tentative steps at the beginning of the month to full on toddling just before the New Year. It seems that if he's playing a game, or holding onto something (like a ball, or Christmas wrapping paper), he's more confident to walk longer distances, such as across the room. 

Communication

Asher regularly uses the signs for more, please, and all done. When he signs "please," he also says the word. 

We can't believe how much this guy talks!! His words include: please, cheese, cracker, keys, hot, hat, more, hi, buh bye, bath, bottle (baba), no no no, garbage truck, tractor, choo choo, and juice. 

He knows the sounds for lion, duck, horse, sheep, cow, pig, and dog. Sometimes he meows like a cat. Ha. 

Sleep/ schedule

Despite two cross country (and cross time zones) trips this month, Asher was a champion sleeper. Most nights he slept 12-13 hours straight. A few nights he woke up once for a bottle, then quickly put himself back to sleep. 

He also transitioned to one nap this month. He handles the day best if his nap is around 12pm, and he usually sleeps 1.5 to 3 hours, depending on the day and circumstances. He took a lot of naps in different places this month, but handled them all very well. We are grateful for this good little sleeper, especially considering how poorly he slept for his first nine months AND that his big sister is now sleeping far worse than she has in her whole life. Oy! 

Food 

Asher's appetite varies greatly from day to day and from meal to meal. It's hard to get an accurate understanding of how much / when he wants to eat, since we've been traveling and out of our routine so much this month. Some of his favorite things to eat are mashed potatoes, clementines, berries, ham/ pork, and bread of any kind. He loves to snack, and he loves to drink milk from bottles. 

Activity

Asher is such an active, rough and tumble guy. He is so busy, always on the move!! He loves to explore, especially outside. He is a social butterfly, and enjoys playing with Charlotte and hanging out with friends and his family. He loves to wrestle with Joel and plays sort of rough with Charlotte (sometimes it's well received, sometimes... Not so much ;) )

Fifteen months is such a fun age! So much to learn, so much to do, and so many words to babble! 

Asher: fourteen months

Growth/ Development 

Asher seems to be thinning out a little. He has a checkup in January, so no height and weight measurements this month. He wears size 5 shoes, size 18-24 month clothing, and he finally got his sixth tooth!! 

Asher's pretty close to walking. He has taken one or two steps, and spends a lot of the day standing while he plays. He's gaining confidence and becoming more interested in walking, but still crawls rapidly around the house and yard to get himself where he wants to go. 

Our boy is growing in his understanding of spoken words, and in his use of words and signs. He can communicate a lot more now than he could one month ago. 

Sleep/ schedule

This was a sad month, with Asher getting his first serious cold which turned into a double ear infection. He was on antibiotics for the first time, and got a really bad diaper rash from some digestive adjustments to the antibiotic. Poor little guy was miserable for Thanksgiving dinner, crying and needing to be held. 

Needless to say, his sleep and daily routines have been all out of whack. Many nights he woke up fussing, many mornings he had a bottle at 4am and slept until 7:30. Some mornings he was wide awake at 6, just like "normal." Some days he took two naps, other days just one. He went to bed at all different times, mostly in the 6:45- 7:15 range. 

I can't decide if he's (I'm) ready for just one nap. In some ways, it'd make our days easier because the kids could have similar schedules and we'd have two big windows of time to do things, but I've also gotten used to the rhythm of staying home until he wakes up from the morning nap. Charlotte and I often do messy or fragile activities/ toys during that time, and I also catch up on chores and household tasks then. Plus, I'm afraid if he's overtired he will start waking up in the night. Also-- he wakes up soooooo early sometimes that it seems impossible to keep him happily awake until afternoon nap time. We'll see. 

Communication

Asher does signs for more, all done, food, please, and (sometimes) thank you. He also does a motion for washing his hands (adorable!!!!) and sometimes makes a clicking noise when he's hungry. 

New words this month include WaWa (water), Peppa (when he wants to watch Peppa Pig, or talk to his Grandpa, haha), baba (bottle / baby), and he finally says Momma consistently! :) He snorts like a pig and woofs like a dog. 

He nods yes and shakes his head no. He waves hello and goodbye, blows kisses, and gives real open mouth incredibly sweet real kisses. He points at a million things a day, and makes all sorts of babbling noises- his voice is the sweetest sound.

Food

Since he was so sick this month, Asher regressed a bit on his bottle drinking. I've been offering food as consistent as always, and especially try to give healthy things I know he likes. But it's difficult to fill up his belly at exactly the right times. It's easier to give a bottle of milk, and I know bottles are comforting to him. This is an ongoing challenge for me. 

He loves baked oatmeal, sweet potatoes, pomegranate seeds, raisins, cucumbers, bell peppers, and all kinds of breads/ muffins (mostly we've been eating banana muffins lately). 

Activity

Asher's favorite thing to do these days is climb. If nothing else is available, he likes to climb my body. It's not the most comfortable thing in the world, to say the least, so I try to give him opportunities to climb something else (playground equipment, stairs, beds/ couches, etc.) as much as possible. He likes to stand up while playing, and he lives for the great outdoors. We've had a lot of fun lately, pushing him around in the stroller or wearing him outside in the hiking backpack. 

This month Asher played in snow for the first time. He liked it! 

He also loves to watch the Christmas lights on our tree, and on our neighbors' houses. 

14 months is such a fun age. We love our big boy! 

Asher: thirteen months

Growth/ development

Asher is big! He's like a tank, and his chubby thighs are just irresistibly sweet! No official height or weight this month, but his shoe size is 5 and he wears 12-18 month clothing. He STILL only has five teeth! I can't believe how long it's been since he last got a tooth! 

He can stand on his own, and walk while pushing a toy. He isn't too interested in walking, though, because crawling is soooooo much faster. Our boy is really growing in the communication realm lately, babbling to himself and making all sorts of sounds and noises and gestures to get his point across. He's also started to use some baby sign language, which is awesome. 

This month Asher cut down on his bottles a lot! He drinks 2-3 bottles of milk a day; it's mostly whole cow's milk with some pumped breastmilk mixed in. I would say his total milk intake is between 15-18 ounces (with only 4-8 ounces being breastmilk) -- personally, I wish he didn't drink so much cow's milk because our diet has a fair amount of dairy in it and I don't want to overload his system with dairy. It's something I will continue to work on-- giving him lots of healthy meals to fill his belly with a well-rounded diet enough that he doesn't ask for milk bottles as often. He doesn't seem bothered by the milk at all, his system is handling it just fine. We'll see what the next month is like. 

Sleep/ schedule

Though he consistently wakes up too early for our liking, Asher has settled into life as a pretty good sleeper. He almost always sleeps from 7ish till 6ish. His naps are regular and almost always 1.5 hours each (morning roughly 8-9:30, adjusted based on his wake up time that day and afternoon roughly 1:15-2:45pm). 

Every once in a while Asher stirs or cries in the night but he usually puts himself back to sleep quickly. If he's woken up in the 4-5am range, though, he doesn't settle back easily even though he's exhausted. We often give him a small bottle of milk to help him relax and he will go back to sleep for a few more hours- this usually happens once or twice a month. 

Communication

Says: Dada, hiii, hot, dog 

Signs: more, all done, thank you 

Also points (and grunts!! Loudly! Until we understand him!), waves hello/ goodbye, gives high fives, and blows kisses (the most adorable thing on the planet!). Hilariously, his motion for signing "thank you" is the same as his motion for blowing kisses. Makes me giggle :) 

Food

Eats three meals and at least two snacks a day. Just started using a loaded fork and spoon this month! He loves eating this way, must feel proud to be such a big boy. 

Likes black and kidney beans, smoothies, quiche, frozen peas, corn on the cob, anything sweet (banana or zucchini muffins), pasta, pizza, shredded pork, and whole fruit (don't even think about cutting up that pear, banana, or apple! He wants the whole dang thing to gnaw on!). 

Doesn't like cut up fruit, whole pieces of chicken or beef, and chickpeas. 

Activity

Asher loves being outside. He will be completely miserable, clingy, and fussy, but then we take him out into the yard and he's a total peach. He also loves exploring, climbing, and taking things out/ putting them back in. He likes to read books, play with cars, ride in the stroller, climb onto Charlotte's kitchen stool, open cabinet doors, and feel various textures. 

Asher adores his big sister and is really starting to be quite a Daddy's boy. He is snuggly and silly and our family just can't get enough of his sweet little self. Happy 13 months, baby boy! We love you so much! 

Life around here lately, 3

Charlotte is 32 months old (almost three years!) and Asher is one. I'm almost 32 ;) 

We're on day 7 of cloudy/ rainy and cool weather. Fortunately, we've had a pocket of sun here and there, and it's not constantly raining, which is a big relief. I'm in a much better place physically and emotionally than I was one year ago at this time (with a brand new baby, in a house that wasn't our own!), and the icky weather isn't getting me down as much as I was afraid it might. We've managed to have some play dates and swing on the swings and visit the library. All those fun bits help us manage the rain fairly well. 

Both children are in really fun stages right now. 

Charlotte is constantly creating... painting, coloring, making dinner parties for her stuffed animals, using play dough to create cookies for a snack, setting up a restaurant in our new play house, and just making things in general. She's also making really significant conversations lately. She's asking about Bible stories we read, and questioning song lyrics that we sing. She's noticing tiny details in books, and asking a million questions a day. I love chatting with her, and teaching her things. Sometimes the listening is exhausting, and I struggle to really truly pay attention and engage. Working on that. 

Asher is constantly exploring... He crawls all over the house, checking everything out. He loves to take things out of the recycling bin and touch every object. He likes to crawl into the bathroom, and if the lid isn't closed, he tries to explore the contents of the toilet! Ick. Using a push toy, he can walk down the hallway or across the living room. He's always cruising from one chair to the next, or from the  couch to someone's nearby arm/leg. If there's a door open, Asher immediately bolts to get outside. He's had a lot of clothing changes lately, and I'm doing a lot of laundry since his pants get completely covered in mud the second he's outside! It's worth it, though, because he is unbelievably happy playing in the yard and crawling along the driveway. 

Asher is ONE / twelve months!

Happy first birthday to my sweet, fun, handsome boy! We love you and are so proud of you! 

Growth/ development: Asher weighs 24 pounds, is 31 inches tall (same as Charlotte at one!), and his head is 19 inches. He wears size four diapers and most of his clothing is 12-18 month range. His 12 months pants and onesies are wayyyyy too small, but we are temporarily squeezing him into 12 month PJs. :) He still only has five teeth-- we keep expecting the sixth one to appear, but it hasn't yet. 

Asher can cruise from one object to another and is constantly standing up to play. He crawls like a speeding bullet and can get wherever he wants to go, at any time. We borrowed a push toy from our friends and Asher can walk across the living room while pushing the toy. He gets so excited and his joy just breaks my heart! 

This month, Asher developed his waving and clapping skills. He also learned to give high fives-- so cute! He says, "Hiiiii," "Dada," and "Chock" (which sometimes means truck, and other times means who knows what?! :) )

Sleep/ schedule: Asher consistently sleeps through the night- usually from about 7pm to 6am!!! Sometimes he stirs and Joel goes in to talk and comfort him for a second, but that's very rare. He also wakes up before 6 at least once a week-- and sometimes wakes up closer to five... ugh! His naps are pretty consistent-- from about 7:45/8 until 9/10am. His second nap is usually from 1-2:30/3pm. 

Asher still drinks 5-6 bottles of breast milk each day. I've dropped down to three pumping sessions but that's still producing enough for his needs. His total breast milk intake has dropped, and he's definitely eating more solids than he did a few weeks ago. However, he really enjoys his bottles and seems to use the bottle drinking time to relax, particularly before naps and bedtime. I'm hoping to ease back from breas tmilk even more, by replacing a few ounces per day with whole cow's milk. I don't want to sub all his bottles with cow's milk, because I want him to be hungry for actual food. It's a bit of a dilemma for me. 

Asher likes: Being outside, playing near Charlotte, reading books, picking up/throwing dirt, taking things out of baskets/bowls, putting things back in (he JUST started this activity and it's adorable!), picking up small objects, playing wild games with his sister and dad, his monkey lovey, putting things in his mouth, and exploring machinery like the stroller, push toys, bike tire pump, and front controls in the van. 

Asher doesn't like: being overtired, waiting to eat, being away from Mom too long, and when Charlotte tells him "No" or pushes him away. 

Big things this month: It's been such fun watching Asher grow and learn. This month Asher had a visit from his maternal grandparents, tried some new foods, and enjoyed a LOT of time playing in the dirt. We love him so much, and thank God for the good gift of our sweet, toddler boy! 

Asher: eleven months

This big boy is almost one! I can't believe it! The past eleven months have gone so, so quickly.

Growth/ development: Asher is big! He is solid- heavy and tall, very compact. He has five teeth, and his  little grin is the cutest thing. He has a lot of hair- far more than Charlotte had at his age. It's starting to curl a bit in the back. 

Asher is a master crawler, and pulls to standing all day long. He loves to stand up and reach for something a tiny bit out of his grasp. 

Sometimes Asher will wave and say, "Hiiiiiiii," but lately this privilege is reserved for animals- stuffed, or living. :) 

Sleep/ schedule: Asher has been waking up EARLY this month. Ugh! We thought that once we night weaned, the sleep situation would get better, but it is still fairly difficult. Some nights Asher will sleep silently through until 5:45am (rarely later than that!), but many nights he stirs a few times throughout the night and settles when Joel comforts him, but then he is awake and mad at 5:00!! 

His naps are fairly consistent, though a couple of times recently he has cried until I finally rocked/ bounced him to sleep in my arms. He usually naps for 1.5-2 hours in the morning, and about 1.5 hours in the afternoon. His bedtime is roughly 7, but if he wakes up early or his naps are off, we will put him to bed closer to 6:30/6:45. I feel this poor guy has a reputation as a bad sleeper; I wouldn't necessarily say that, but he isn't as consistent of a sleeper as Charlotte was, so we can't help but compare. 

Asher is no longer nursing; he takes 6-7 bottles per day and I pump five times a day to keep up with his breastmilk consumption. I would really like to spread out his feedings so he takes just 4 bottles a day, but he definitely prefers to have milk frequently and I'm nervous that cutting back on feedings would affect his sleep. After Charlotte's first birthday I started dropping nursing sessions, so I may try to help Asher take at least one less bottle after he turns one. We'll see. 

Asher likes: Charlotte. She is his favorite person! It's so cute to watch him crawl around the house to find her! He also likes drinking milk, eating food, playing outside, climbing (on his family members, the furniture, and up any steps he can find!), electronics, cords, taking things out of baskets/boxes, BOOKS, and animals. 

Asher doesn't like: being stopped from exploring a place he wants to go, being given a toy that Charlotte deems an appropriate substitute for whatever he's trying to take from her at the moment, getting dressed/ diaper changes. 

Big things this month: Asher had his first baby sitter put him to bed. And his dad put him to bed for the first time. He had friends visit from Philadelphia, visited downtown Seattle, and went to a lot of playgrounds. :) 

On breastfeeding

As of today, I've been nursing one child or the other for over twenty four months. I can't begin to count how many hours I've spent nursing, but I just did a rough calculation of ounces of milk provided and it's something like 20,000 ounces between the two kids. Pretty mind blowing! 

Last month, for the first time ever, I seriously contemplated quitting. I shocked myself, and then shocked myself again by thinking over and over about how much I wanted to be done and how awful it was going. Asher's teeth had started making giant gashes whenever he had a meal, which was (and is) quite frequently throughout the day. 

I'm not sure how the next few months will go, but this hiccup in our breastfeeding journey has got me thinking and I'm using the space here to flesh out some thoughts, as well as to share some important things I've learned in the past couple years. It's World Breastfeeding Week, too, so I think the timing is right.

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You've heard of an Achilles heel, right? 

It seems breastfeeding had become mine. I can't believe how smoothly things went with feeding Charlotte, after the first couple weeks where she didn't gain weight quickly enough and I doubted my own supply for a while. When Asher was born he latched on instantly (seriously! He was a few minutes old and we were snuggling skin-to-skin when Joel said, "Kell, I think he's trying to nurse right now!"), and then he gained weight like a freaking sumo wrestler. It was like my body remembered nursing Charlotte for 14 months and just picked up where it left off, no questions asked, no holds barred. :) 

In all my motherhood doubts and fears and uncertainties, breastfeeding has been low on my list of worries. I've been so fortunate to have an easy time if it; my milk has been plentiful, both kids seemed to be comforted at the breast, and the quiet, snuggly moments became a nice part of raising my babes. 

But when Asher's teeth cut me and I was struggling with the constant pain, in addition to the strong desire to quit, it broke me. My spirit was crushed and I was so defeated and disappointed. I felt like a failure, and I felt mad at my baby, though of course it wasn't his fault at all. I cried A LOT, and spent a lot of time in prayer. Over a few days, my heart really softened. I asked for help, and spoke honestly about my doubts with others. 

I realized that my confidence in breastfeeding had become a bit of a pride issue, and was something that made me think I was in control. After being brought back down to earth, and having my eyes opened to my own desperate need, I could view the situation more clearly and I could humbly ask for help and admit my own frustrations. 

Over the past two weeks, I've cut back on Asher's nursing sessions so my skin can really heal. I've spent a lot of time pumping milk for him, and he's taking bottles like a champ. It's a bittersweet transition, and not without some very strong emotions (and a few tears!) on my part, but it's something that would have happened eventually anyway. Now is a good time to make that change, in order to protect my skin and allow for significant healing. I'm so grateful that our breastfeeding journey will continue for a while longer, and that we had a such a positive nine moths with no issues at all. 

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Though I'm not an expert on nursing, I do have a bit of personal experience. I'm going to share a few things I've learned below, and also give some resources that have been helpful in my journey to this point. Here goes. 

1. When in doubt, nurse! Nurse frequently in the early days after a baby is born. It's so (so!!) time consuming and uncomfortable and exhausting. Just do it. Baby is fussy? Nurse. It's been three hours since the last feeding started? Nurse. It's only been an hour and you can't believe baby is hungry again? Nurse. Your breasts are kind of full/ uncomfortable? Offer baby to nurse. Baby won't settle down to sleep? Nurse. This is my number one piece of advice and I'm VERY serious about it (obviously!). 

[I think in many cases, this advice applies to older babies as well; breastfeeding is a huge source of comfort and stress relief for babies of all ages. But it's especially important in the first few months of baby's life, when milk supply is being established and then maintained. And also, older babies can be fussy because they need to sleep so I believe teaching good sleep habits is important. That's another blog post all together ;) ]

2. Get help if you are struggling at all. Talk to a lactation consultant or a midwife (or your doctor, if he/ she is knowledgeable about breastfeeding). Call a friend who has breastfed a baby recently. Call me! Any time of the day or night! The website Kelly Mom is an amazing resource--- I have used the site many, many times, and it covers a huge range of difficulties you might face. This article is very helpful, too:  https://www.romper.com/p/12-things-you-dont-have-to-do-when-breastfeeding-even-though-everyone-says-you-do-14870

3. Use a nipple shield if your baby won't latch right away but be careful!! Nipple shield are not meant to be permanent solutions, and, in my understanding, can really affect supply long term because they don't always allow baby to empty the breast. Try many times a day to get baby to latch without a shield, and work hard to make baby's latch be perfect! Watch videos of how to get a good latch and ask for help. Don't be shy about this! I thought Asher's latch was okay, but I should have made sure it was perfect because nine months later it was killing me! 

4. Reserve judgement. This is very hard, but very important. Don't judge that momma giving her baby a bottle. Don't judge that momma who accidentally flashes the room while trying to get her babe to latch on quickly. Don't judge that momma using a nursing cover, or going into a dark, quiet room to feed her baby. Don't judge that dad giving his baby a bottle, or helping his wife nurse discreetly in a public place. Don't judge yourself for hating nursing, or loving it, or being in between about it. Don't judge yourself for decisions you have to make, or for difficulties that are beyond your control. Being a parent is hard! Feeding a baby is hard!  Let's not make the whole thing harder by criticizing each other for the decisions we make, or the circumstances in which we live. 

5. Talk about breastfeeding. With your friends. With your parents. With your husband. With your children (older kids and toddlers). I feel pretty strongly that most of the misconceptions and awkwardness surrounding breastfeeding won't be changed by women in coffee shops nursing without a cover simply to make a point that they can. (Which of course, they can.) But conversations about breastfeeding, exposure to the idea as well as to the difficulties with nursing, making efforts to normalize nursing... All of these things can go a long way toward moving past the stigma. Let's have some conversations, people.