(un)happy Valentines day

I am having a really hard time mustering up a positive attitude to write a Happy Valentines Day post.

The last 48 hours with Charlotte have been somewhat miserable. We had a disastrous dinner out at on Wednesday night; she was completely inconsolable and screamed the entire way home in her car seat. I cried, too.

Then yesterday Joel was home from school due to snowy weather and we had a leisurely morning and afternoon, but then around 4:30pm Charlotte began a four-hour stretch of off-and-on crying, mixed with some hysterical screaming. She could not settle down and nothing we did made her happy. Heart-breaking.

I finally nursed her (again!) around 8pm and she slept until midnight, then nursed and slept until 3:30am. Then nursed and slept till 7am. We all got a good night's rest, but this morning she needed to nap and nothing we tried really helped her sleep either, until Joel swaddled her in our miracle blanket and I held her on my chest (as opposed to cradling her in my arms).

Joel and I are so drained from being unable to soothe her. It's frustrating and maddening and so so sad to hear your exhausted baby crying from exhaustion, but to see her failing to settle into sleep which is what she needs most.

As I snuggled and fed Charlotte this morning, I was whispering in her tiny ear the only truth I have: my God is strong in my weakness and he is sovereign and good in this terribly hard season.