We had a WONDERFUL (too short!) weekend with my family last weekend. It was likely the last time we'll make the drive to their house from our home in PA, so I'm feeling a bit sad while thinking back over the weekend.
The weather was absolutely perfect and Charlotte was a star, as usual :)
I'm constantly blown away by reality: you are not a baby any more. This reality simultaneously breaks my heart and billows me up with pride.
Today before your afternoon nap, I heard you opening the bathroom cabinet doors. You're allowed to play in there, but since some of your favorite "toys" are medicines and shaving cream bottles, I like to keep a pretty close watch on this particular play location. :)
I watched as you carefully stepped over the edge, from the bathroom into the hallway, holding onto the door frame with one hand. The other hand was carefully cradling a full bottle of shaving cream. Once over the threshold, you tottered into your room and added said bottle to the already full collection of toiletries on your bedroom floor.
The total count was five items: a mini toothpaste, a mini aftershave, two shaving creams, and a travel contact lens case. You'd made a perfectly neat pile on your changing mat and were on your way back to the bathroom for more treasures when I interrupted to say it was bedtime.
I carried the items back into the bathroom and you carefully (and cheerfully!) put each item back into the cupboard before taking my hand and walking into your room once again.
Goodness, you are growing up so wonderfully. I am proud of you and I love you. You make me laugh and your life brings me incredible joy. I love you, little worm.
In the beginning of May, my mom took Charlotte and me to visit my Granddad in Virginia. It was Charlotte's second time there, and this trip was MUCH easier than the first. Ha.
Some of the highlights of our quick there-and-back visit include playing on the swing outside, exploring a new house, climbing new stairs, playing on the beach, seeing a lot of dogs, looking at trucks out the car window, eating good meals, and spending time with those we love.
Charlotte was a total champ in the car (about 13 hours round trip) and slept a lot better in her travel crib this time than she did last April. Thanks, Mom, for the girls' road trip. :)
Lately I've been feeling you swimming around inside of me a LOT! Your dad reminded me yesterday that your big sister Charlotte used to kick the iPad when I had it resting on my belly. I giggled, remembering those days...
And then. Just now. You did the EXACT same thing!
It's so fun, imagining the two of you playing together, growing up close in age, probably sharing a room. Arguing, and sharing, and learning, and teaching, and arguing some more, and loving, and talking, and laughing.
Today was a hard day. It was 85 degrees outside, and we had to leave for our home inspection, and I had another little guy to watch, in addition to your sister. And I broke a huge glass container. And I cried on your daddy's chest while Charlotte cried in her crib at bedtime. And I was tired and overwhelmed and worried.
These hard days happen, little one. They happened while I was pregnant the last time, and they happened when Charlotte was a newborn. And of course, they happened when I was single, and engaged, and a newly wed.
And these hard days will come again.
Those are the things on my mind, my darling child. I love you and I can't wait to meet you.
Wearing: maternity clothes, TOMS, and some brown strappy sandals that I must have bought last year, but totally forgot about!
Cooking: tortilla soup, chicken sausages on the grill, pasta salad (ultimate summer weather food in my opinion)
Purchasing: new shoes and sandals for Charlotte. We got her first shoes in October and she is just now outgrowing her size four sneakers. I ordered new stride rite sneaks in 4.5 and got her some classic saltwater sandals for summer weather.
Feeling: grateful because we got an offer on our house and are now waiting for a home inspection to be done on Monday. Also feeling overwhelmed by all that has to be done in the next month, in addition to the emotions that come with pregnancy and motherhood. Ahh, the feelings!
Wondering: is this new babe a boy, or a girl? We hope to find out on May 14. Joel thinks it's a girl, but just this week I started wondering if maybe it's a boy...
Smelling: the lilac bush outside our kitchen window is delightful. It's technically in our neighbor's yard, but it's close enough to smell from our house. Love it!
Total weight gain: five pounds (at least); probably more by now, considering how much sugar I've been consuming lately. Gulp!
Maternity clothes: all the time, it seems. That's not really true, but I definitely have a belly, which requires clothing to be flexible and somewhat loose. I really love the two new maternity Ts I got from Old Navy, as well as my gray maternity jeans from GAP. In the photo below, I'm wearing this incredibly flattering maternity dress from Target.
Pregnancy symptoms: Increased energy from the first trimester & no more nausea!,general discomfort, some middle of the night insomnia, difficulty carrying Charlotte, shortness of breath, some anxiety about changing care providers at 28-30 weeks.
Thoughts: A blogger I really like just announced she is also pregnant with her second child. In the baby announcement post, she linked to a post she wrote when her daughter was four weeks old. The words really resonated with me, as I reflect on the early days with Charlotte, and as I anticipate what October will be like... adjusting to this new little life joining our family. The first few weeks with Charlotte were so.dang.hard. And scary. And lonely. And overwhelming. I distinctly remember feeling trapped by my own child... She needed me and cried more than I had expected. And I put such terrible pressure on myself to do it all right.
I expect October to be hard, too. Charlotte will be adjusting, and we will be tired and overwhelmed. We will be in a different city, far from our loved ones. Joel will be busy with a new job. But this time, I have different expectations and far fewer fears. I know a little bit about breastfeeding and newborn care and surviving on little sleep. I know that I won't ruin the baby by nursing him/her to sleep sometimes. I know he/she will snooze anywhere and everywhere at first, so I should make Target runs and go on dinner dates while I can. I know Joel is an amazing dad and a perfect partner for me, so I'm relaxed knowing we can tag team our kiddos. Basically, I'm pretty excited for October!