Asher's birth story

One of my favorite pastimes during this second pregnancy was reading old blog posts- mostly about my pregnancy with Charlotte, her monthly updates, and her birth story. And though we didn't have anyone present to take good photographs at Asher's birth, I still want to record the details of my labor and delivery with him, for my own memory and for him to read some day. 

Joel took most of these photos immediately following his birth, so sadly, we don't have any of the three of us together. This post will contain a few details that aren't neat and tidy, so just skim over if birth stories aren't your thang ;) Here goes...

Since my 37th week of pregnancy, I had been having a lot of uncomfortable contractions. Just before I turned 38 weeks, we went in to the birth center because I was contracting and also because I wondered if my water had broken- it broke naturally at the end of my labor with Charlotte and I never felt it, so I didn't know how to identify what it would be like. At that check up, we determined my water hadn't broken and my contractions stopped overnight, so we carried on. Or I should say, we labored on... For about two more weeks!! It was a very tiring and stressful and confusing time; my body kept tricking me into thinking delivery was imminent but things never progressed enough to be true labor. 

I had a midwife appointment on Wednesday, September 30. For most of our appointments, we had been seeing Brianna, and she told us at that appointment I was 5cm dilated and could have a baby any time. I said that my friend Melissa would be arriving the next day and that since I had already waited this long, I hoped baby would wait for her to come and be our doula. Brianna told me I could come in whenever I wanted the next day, or over the weekend, and she would break my water to get things moving. She could tell I was just DONE being pregnant and was anxious to meet our guy. 

That night I gave Charlotte a bath while Joel went for a run. Around 7pm as I was kneeling next to the tub, scrubbing down our big toddler girl, I noticed some fairly strong contractions. For kicks and giggles, I found and downloaded a free contraction tracker app on my phone. I'm really glad I did that, because it helped me realize that they were actually coming fairly consistently (finally!!). 

After Charlotte was in bed I went to sit on my exercise ball and noticed Joel using the iPad- still in his sweaty running clothes. I said casually, "Babe, you might want to go take a shower. I'm having some pretty serious contractions." 

"Oh", he replied. While he took a shower, I made sure all our bags were packed and labored by walking around the house through each contraction. They were coming about four minutes apart and lasting just under one minute. I called our neighbor to be sure she could come stay with Charlotte, then picked up my phone to call the birth center. As I started to dial, I noticed, for the first time, that I had a missed call and new voicemail from earlier in the evening. The message was from Brianna, saying that she would be on call that night, but if I went into labor the following day she wanted to be at my birth so I should call her directly even though she wouldn't be on call. I was blown away by the generosity of her offer, but also pretty sure I would NOT be waiting until the next day to have my baby. 

Once I called Brianna, she said to come in around 9:30 or 9:45. I was still managing my contractions pretty well, so I called our neighbor again and asked her to come so we could get the car packed and hit the road. 

We arrived at the birth center around 9:45. I was 5cm dilated and my contractions were picking up. I labored in the jacuzzi tub for about an hour, at which point they checked me again. My contractions were still intensifying but I hadn't dilated much in that hour, so Brianna offered to break my water. I remember asking, "that will speed things up, but also intensify them, right?" 

Brianna said yes, and I told her to go for it. I stayed in the tub and she used an "amnio hook" to break my water. I felt this intense relief for a quick second after my water broke, but then almost immediately the contractions came harder and faster. From about 10:45 to 11:45 pm, Joel stayed with me and used counter pressure on my back while I labored in the tub to manage the pain. He also massaged my back during contractions with a little plastic massage tool, but it didn't seem to help quite as much as the strength of his hands pressing inward on my hips. 

The timing of everything is blurry, but I remember distinctly the feeling of calm in the room. Joel was helping me and encouraging me and the midwife and two students kept coming in to check on us both. Probably around 12:30 they told me I was fullly dilated and were getting ready to help me start pushing. Joel said, "Kell, do you want to have him in the tub?"... 

"No," I replied. And Brianna immediately said, "Well you better get out right now!" :) 

On the bed I had the freedom to move however I chose. We remembered that pushing on my hands and knees was very effective with Charlotte, so I started out that way. I also laid on my right side for a few contractions and then did some pushing in that position as well. Joel continued squeezing my hips and rubbing my back hard during each contraction and the midwife/ two assistants held me hand and guided me and gave verbal encouragement. At one point they gave me some oxygen which was startling because I got nervous that something was wrong with the baby. But it really helped me focus on breathing deeply, which in turn helped me relax and give conscious effort to pushing effectively. 

They told me after Asher was born that I only pushed for 12 minutes. Of course I believe them, but pushing a baby out of my body is the absolute hardest thing in the world, so to me it felt about a million times longer than 12 minutes. 

When Asher's head came out, my entire body was on fire, but then barely a second later his whole little  self came flopping out and the pain was completely over. I can't believe how fast the ending went, and I was speechless with happiness when they brought my son into view. 

He was screaming and flailing wildly but stopped the second I turned over and brought him to my chest. I cried, of course, and marveled at the precious gift of Asher Patrick Alberts. I am unbelievably grateful to have had another healthy, beautiful child come from my body. 

I'm overwhelmed with joy, too, for such a positive, safe, and quick natural delivery. Giving life to my children is undeniably the hardest thing ever, but also one of the best. Also- my husband is amazing. The end. 

On my soapbox

Because yesterday I got to witness the birth of beautiful baby Jasmine, today I'm going to write about natural childbirth.

Let me say immediately that I have no problem with a woman deciding to have pain medication during her labor. I have friends who chose epidurals and their birth stories are no less beautiful, and the women themselves are no less amazing. I also recognize and appreciate the reality that some situations are safer if surgery is performed or if labor is moved forward with the help of medication. 

But, I have a problem with women being pressured into things without having an actual legitimate choice. I have a major problem with the institutions that enforce unnecessary interventions, often leading to other, riskier interventions. I also have a big problem with policies and protocol and staffing structures that do little to support families in the process of birthing babies. It is my opinion that women should not be expected to lay on their backs, tethered to monitors and IVs, during their entire labor, and then be told they need an epidural to make it through, or that they need a c-section due to "failure to progress." Neither should women be led to believe that birth is always a dangerous, scary, awful experience. Many births are "normal" low-risk endeavors, and should be treated as such.

I can't imagine someone whose labor can progress, at the speed hospitals often desire, when they're tethered to a wire and spending hours in a position not only potentially painful, but very inconducive to moving a baby down and out! During Charlotte's birth, I only had to be on my back for 3 minutes at a time while my cervix was checked for dilation. Those minutes were unbearable, but I bore them because I knew my time in that position would be limited. 

One of my friends told me a maddening story. She had an epidural (by choice, which I respect) and was fully dilated, ready to push. The nurse told her to hold on because they needed to get the doctor. My friend waited to push for 20 minutes while peole were putzing around looking for her doctor. 20 minutes when your body is fully ready to push?!?! Then, after her baby was born, she held her for less than 5 minutes before the baby was taken away to have a bath, be weighed, etc. etc. etc. Why on earth did that have to be done immediately after birth? What can weighing a baby tell you that's so urgent? Couldn't the staff have hung around, or just come back, until mom and baby had snuggled adequately? 

Okay, end rant. 

If, dear readers, I have offended you at all, I am sorry. I do not mean to sound judgemental of any person or their individual choices. If, however, I have increased your curiosity, I will end with a few things I find important if natural childbirth is the goal. My experience is very limited, but I have done my research and have birthed my very own babe. 

1. Empowerment and support: having a husband on board was crucial, having another trusted friend or support person was helpful, finding care providers and a delivery place that fully supported natural birth was absolutely essential. Reading and studying and working through fears helped me feel confident that my body was designed for birth and that, with the Lord's help, I could do it. 

2. Freedom of movement: I know some places require an IV and some women have group B step and need to have antibiotics in a labor. But if not, moving around constantly is so, so productive in bringing baby down into and through the birth canal. If IV or antibiotics are necessary, those carts have wheels for a reason. Walk around the room with that puppy tethered to your wrist, if necessary. Just get moving! Rest when you are tired by laying in a position conducive to labor. Then, if possible, get moving again! 

3. Pain management techniques: read "The Birth Partner" and some other books for ideas on how to manage labor pains without medication. There are also tons of websites outlining positions, massages, and the like which really help. Having a husband and friend who know some of the techniques gives you options. 

4. A comfortable environment: my friend told me that her hospital required her to come in as soon as her water broke. She didn't progress immediately afterwards so she hung around in the hospital for hours and hours, exhausted. I was able to stay at my house for a long time, which gave me the chance to rest in my own bed, take three showers, and pace the dark, quiet hallways of my home. At the birth I attended yesterday, my friend had a dark, quiet space to walk around, only people she knew were caring for her, and she could lay on a big, comfortable bed when she felt tired. She also had the freedom to relax in the bathtub, and when her baby was coming, got to choose to stay in the tub for delivery. 

What other things am I missing? 

the birth of Charlotte Adeline

Disclaimer: slightly graphic post ahead, including some non-graphic photos.

I spent the first day of my maternity leave wandering around IKEA, hoping to "walk this baby out." I was so ready for her to come and I didn't want to "waste" many of my days off without an actual baby. In the afternoon I went shopping at Wegmans, feeling irregular contractions that sometimes made me stop to breathe. Joel and I went out to dinner and had friends over to play games. I knew I needed to be distracted from the waiting. My friends brought some spices to help me kick start labor. I told them I was pretty sure things were already moving, but I didn't want to get my hopes up.

We went to bed around 11 and I woke up at 1 with much stronger contractions. I got in the shower to manage them and let Joel sleep another hour. I woke Joel up around 2 saying, "I need some help." At that point I was confident this was the real deal but had no idea how much longer I would be laboring.

The hours we spent at home are all a blur. I know I took at least two more showers. I know Joel called Melissa, my BFF and doula. I know they both rubbed my back. I know I was tired. I know I sat on the toilet- a lot. I know I threw up twice. I know I asked for counter pressure, some hip squeezing. I know I walked the upstairs hallway, back and forth. I know Melissa helped me breathe deeply and slowly. I know Joel got all our bags ready by the door. I know Melissa made our bed. I know I drank water. I know when we called the birth center's on- call phone the midwife talked me through some contractions and told me I could stay home longer. Twice.

Around 7 am Joel drove me to the birth center. I spent all ten minutes of that drive on my knees, leaning over the back of my seat. I absolutely couldn't sit on my butt- my back killed me and contractions were coming fast!!

Upon arriving at the birth center, I was already 6 centimeters dilated. The baby's head was really low, which was making me feel the need to push even though it definitely wasn't time. The midwife on call wasn't the one we'd seen most, but she told me they were changing shifts at 8am so "my" midwife would be on her way shortly. I love both of the midwives and was pleased to have both of them involved in my labor, but I was really thrilled that the one we knew best would likely be there to deliver our baby. I quickly got in the jacuzzi tub and labored there for the next three hours.

Joel and Melissa took turns massaging my back and doing hip squeezes through contractions. The pain was unbelievable and I couldn't handle it except with their help. Being in the water was amazing; between contractions I could lean back into the jets and let my body relax a little. During my time in the tub I often felt the urge to push. Melissa or Sarah, my midwife, would help me breathe through each contraction when I said, "It's so hard not to push!!" over and over and over again. I was moaning and breathing and hanging out on my hands and knees as labor progressed quite quickly.

The next time I got out of the tub to be checked, I was 8 centimeters so back into the tub I went. During that check, Sarah did some maneuvering with my cervix because the baby's head was still low, but I wasn't open quite enough for her to actually start moving through.

A little before 10am, Sarah suggested I was probably close to being fully dilated so I should get out of the tub. Lying on my back to be checked was total torture so once we discovered I was 10 centimeters, Sarah let me get on my hands and knees to push.

The pushing was horrendous- unbelievably painful and so so hard! I can't imagine pushing for longer than I did, though I know most people have a much longer time of it. I had Joel's hand being crushed on my left and Melissa massaging my back/butt on the right. Sarah was coaching me and encouraging me and telling me exactly what I needed to do. After a little while she had me lie on my side and hold my right leg up. This gave me a chance to focus and I tried so hard to breathe deeply and push when the contractions came. Joel was holding my hand and letting me squeeze his to death and keeping a cool washcloth on my face/forehead. Melissa helped immensely by giving a running commentary... "Ohhhh, Kell, I can see her head!"Just the words I needed to hear, as I couldn't see at all and the pushing didn't feel like it was accomplishing much.

At one point Sarah let me feel Charlotte's little head, which was slimy and hairy and amazing. That slimy, hairy, amazing head gave me the courage and stamina to keep pushing despite the piercing pain of my body parts stretching to beyond their maximum capacity. It's a bit hazy now, but at some point once Charlotte's head was out, there was a bit of a stall and Sarah had me switch back to pushing on my hands and knees. I got really scared because I was afraid something was wrong and immediately started praying and crying, "Lord, please let her be fine. God, help me. Don't let her be in distress. Please keep her safe, Lord." I think I asked Joel to pray through my fears, too, but I don't remember if it was during this stage.

Right around 10:20 am on Friday, January 31st, my sweet darling girl came flying out and was caught by Sarah, who immediately put her up by my head so I could see her beautiful (bloody!) body. Charlotte Adeline Alberts came into the world with her tiny fist squished up against her cheek. She had a little bruise on the right side of her face, due to that hand blocking her exit. That tiny fist made me tear slightly, so once Charlotte was checked out and placed on my chest, Sarah had to do a few small stitches. Charlotte's head was cone shaped and Joel told me later that he wondered why his wife had birthed an alien! She snuggled up with me under some blankets and our birth dream team took care of everything else. Joel and I just gazed at her and I took some deep breaths and reveled in the reality that I'd just pushed a 7.5 pound human out of my body.

The entire experience was incredible and painful and heart-wrenching and scary and perfect and beautiful. I couldn't have asked for a more wonderful first labor and delivery. I couldn't have imagined a better team supporting me the entire way.

Though bringing Charlotte into the world was physically the hardest thing I have ever done, it was the most rewarding and the most wonderful. 

 

All images by Melissa of Melissa Hassey Photography.

our after birth meal

Our birth center's policy is to have new parents and their babies go home a few hours after delivery. One thing they require is that new moms eat a "real" meal before going home, so when you arrive to have your baby you're supposed to bring something that can be prepared easily after the birth. That way you leave well-nourished and ready to rest peacefully (???) at home.

The birth center has a full kitchen with fridge, stove, etc., so anything you bring is totally fine. I decided that the meal I'd like to have is one that I almost always make for friends at church whenever they have a new baby. It's from this great cookbook called "The Good Neighbor Cookbook" which I bought a few years back. (Joel loves it, too, so that's a plus!)

Because the recipe is one of my absolute favorites, I thought I'd share it here. Enjoy!

Toasted garlic marinara: 
Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. 
Add 4-6 cloves of garlic (sliced) and cook, stirring until light golden brown. 
Add 2 (28 oz) cans of whole peeled tomatoes with juice, 1 teaspoon dried oregano, 1 teaspoon sugar, 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt, 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper, and a dash of black pepper. 
Bring all to a boil. 
Decrease heat and simmer on low, breaking the tomatoes up (I use a potato masher but you can use a wooden spoon). Let simmer about 20 minutes until slightly thickened.

After the marinara is done, you can make the ravioli dish:
I buy about 3 pounds of frozen cheese ravioli and split it between two 8x8 pans. Then in each pan, stir in 4 cups baby spinach, 1 cup heavy cream, some basil leaves (optional), 1/4 cup Parmesan and about half of the marinara. I also sprinkle some mozzarella cheese on top, but that's optional too. 
Bake at 400 until the sauce is bubbling and top is golden, about 25 to 30 minutes

The honor of pregnancy and birth

I'm so overwhelmed by the huge-ness of carrying and birthing a baby right now.

As I have mentioned before, the past two weeks brought three new babies into the world, all of whom were born to my dear sweet friends. Two friends have already shared their scary, bloody, miraculous, perfect, amazing stories with me. Meg wrote about hers on her blog and my roommate told me hers over the phone on Sunday. I cried at both. Mostly because it's just so darn beautiful to consider the God of the universe creating our bodies to do such precious work.

I went to a midwife appointment today and started reading The Birth Book in the waiting room. This is on my list to purchase from Amazon sometime soon; getting to read a few pages in the meantime made me even more excited and honored to be able to grow and then deliver the baby we've been given. Sometimes Joel thanks me for carrying our baby; I can't take a single bit of credit here...what a total privilege.

It's my prayer to safely bring our shy little one into the world next year. I hope I get the chance to experience the raw hormones and emotions and the rush of birthing without medication, but regardless of how things go down in that sense, I'm so so pumped to meet this kid who's wriggling and kicking around almost constantly now. And I'm so glad to have my handsome husband holding my hand for this entire ride.

pregnancy: week 17

Week 17
40 minutes spent at our prenatal appointment with the midwife
2 long morning walks
1 care package received in the mail
8+ hours spent at the beach with junior high kids
1 very happy dad who got to hear his little one's speedy heartbeat
6 hours in new job training

We went to our first regular prenatal appointment at the birth center this week. Everything was fine (the heartbeat was awesome!) and the midwife gave us a lot of good information about what to expect, what to watch for, etc. In an attempt to make scheduling simple from here on, I made the rest of my appointments up until mid-January. That's nuts!

If all goes well, we have an ultrasound at the end of next week to reveal the baby's sex. It's on the early side (not quite 19 weeks at that point), but the office closes at 2:30 each afternoon so we want to get it in before school starts. The midwife said sometimes babies have tiny cysts on their heads at 18 weeks that will disappear later, so she didn't want us to be alarmed. I had never heard that before, but we are going to the ultrasound prepared and hoping we get to know the sex and don't have to get another ultrasound later on.

why I broke up with my OB

Long ago, before we were trying to have a baby, I read two articles on natural childbirth, written by two of my favorite bloggers. Their words really resonated with me and I thought, "I believe my body was designed for this. If I get the chance to have a baby some day, natural birth makes perfect sense to me."

(Quick disclaimer: I am not writing this to prove any points or to pass any judgement. I'm no expert on this subject. I believe parents should be able to do what they think is best for themselves and their baby. But, I do feel strongly about the choices I have made so far. And this is my blog, so I can write what I choose. :))

Anyway, the first post, written by a nurse, explains why the author chose to have a home birth with her son. She talks about how labor & delivery is the "money-maker" of hospitals. She shares her own experience birthing naturally and how much freedom and flexibility she had during labor. I wanted that, too.

The second post, written by a mom of two children (both born without medication), basically just challenges women to be educated: to know their options, to ask questions, to think through common interventions, and to use natural "labor aids" to help you in the process of giving birth. I didn't want to be pushed around or bullied into anything; her suggestions hooked me. 

When we got pregnant, I started talking to Joel about my understanding of natural childbirth, my reading about midwifery, my desire to question what was considered "normal" in terms of hospital birth, etc. We watched the documentary, "The Business of Being Born" and continued to discuss the subject. Joel agreed to check out a local birth center (run by two midwives) after we went to the first scheduled appointment with my OB.

I think I went into that OB appointment already convinced I wanted to continue care elsewhere. However, three small annoyances sealed the deal:
1. The nurse who checked me in was adamant about estimating the baby's due date based on my last period. I really didn't want to do that because I had been tracking my cycle and knew that date wouldn't be accurate based on the typical 28-day calendar used by doctor's offices. Plus, it would have put me two weeks ahead of schedule and could have resulted in a way-too-early induction of labor.
2. The OB, who I've been seeing for GYN care for at least three years, asked if I was still taking blood pressure medicine... "Really, lady? I've never once been on blood pressure medicine."
3. Because the office is large, they told me they'd try to have me meet with all 6 of their doctors because there was no guarantee who'd be on call when I went into labor. So potentially I could be in labor and delivering my first child at this hospital with a caregiver I'd never.even.met. No thanks.

After that, I went to to one more appointment there and it sucked. Two days later we visited a local birth center and asked a million questions before taking a tour and deciding to continue care there.

At this point, unless something changes and the pregnancy becomes high risk, we'll meet with a midwife for all regular prenatal appointments from now on. Our baby will be born at a birth center 12 minutes from our home. So.freaking.excited.

P.S. If you're interested in the subject, I suggest reading this post and then checking out some more posts about home birth and natural living. Look for the post about her recent VBAC... this lady rocks the whole birthing thang!
P.S.S. A short, semi-humorous post on why another of my fav bloggers chose to give birth with a midwife.