Wednesday, March 5, 2014
on pride and humility
Around 6pm Joel went to a meeting and I went upstairs to nurse Charlotte. She ate peacefully.
Then proceeded to scream for the next 35 minutes.
Nothing I did soothed her. I sushed and I swayed. I put her in the Ergo and walked around. I swaddled her. I turned on the fan. I sang. I whispered to her. I turned off all the lights. I gave her a pacifier.
Finally I decided to put her to bed, so I changed her diaper, nursed for a long time, swaddled her in the sleep sack, and kissed her goodnight. She fell asleep promptly.
And woke up 5 minutes later. So I nursed her a little more, snuggled, sang, patted her back, put her to bed.
She stayed quiet for 10 minutes, then needed more to eat and some more snuggles and a little rocking before she fell asleep again.
Here's the moral of my story: pride comes before a fall and parenting well requires humility.
I was so proud that my baby sleeps good chunks at night. I was so proud of getting her to nap with those blackout curtains. I was so proud that my daughter can soothe herself (sometimes!). I was so proud that she only spits up a little. I was so proud of her weight gain (up to 9 pounds, 6 1/2 ounces!).
Now as I'm typing I can hear her stirring, again. This going to bed process has taken over an hour and I'm utterly exhausted.
And humbled beyond belief.